


Through His Eyes

by kosmickway (KMDWriterGrl)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 02:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1287622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KMDWriterGrl/pseuds/kosmickway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at Kathryn Janeway in some of her defining moments from the series through Chakotay's eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through His Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Four of the scenes depicted in this fic use dialogue straight from their respective episodes. Those episodes are "Caretaker","Maneuvers", "Coda", and "The Good Shepherd." Everything else is either "between the lines"; "between the scenes"; or of my own creation.

**Caretaker:**

She exuded confidence, grace, and a keen intellect right through the viewscreen. Everyone around her looked shaky, frayed about the edges, but she was as calm as a lake on a day when no wind stirred the water. Her clear azure eyes, reflecting the same water-like calm, met his and held.

"Captain, you and I have the same problem. I think we should get together to try and solve it."

When he materialized on her Bridge, energy weapon in hand, she stepped right up to him, heedless of the drawn weapons from both of their crews and fixed those startling eyes upon him again. "You won’t need those here."

He sized her up, a bold darting of his eyes roaming all over her slender body. He didn’t bother to hide that he liked what he saw. She was doing her own guesswork about him, he could tell, and wondered briefly what it would be like to get inside her head since it was obvious already that her thoughts were always churning.

He dropped his weapon, trusting that blue gaze without knowing why.

**Maneuvers:**

Janeway was disappointed in him. He could see it plainly in every feature of her face. She looked up from his report of events on the Kazon ship and gave him her eyes.

"What you did was commendable, Chakotay. The way you went about it was not."

She rose and came around her desk. Her face was lined with disappointment. In a softer tone, she said, "I’m putting you on report. If that means anything to you anymore."

It did. He had long ago given up Starfleet principles but he knew just how that report would read and it wasn’t the act of disciplining him in the official record that made his cheeks burn with shame—it was the feeling that he had breached something sacred between them. He met her gaze firmly.

"It does. It means I’ve let you down, Captain, and for that I am truly sorry."

Surprise and a bit of warmth flickered in her eyes and Chakotay clung to the scattershot emotion. He had seen something in her gaze at that moment, something he knew to hide away and keep for himself, making sure she wasn’t aware that he’d seen. **  
**

**Resolutions:**

She looked lost, though an instant later there was only weariness on a face that suddenly looked far older than it should.

"Kathryn--" Unfamiliar but not unpleasant, her name on his lips.

She peered at him and her eyes reflected anguish keenly felt but barely hidden.

He couldn’t say anything to make her feel better. Her home, her family, her only way back to Earth were gone and with them her hope and sense of purpose. She was a captain with nothing to command, an explorer confined to a small portion of planet, a leader with no one to lead. No words would be enough to console.

He settled for saying nothing but did reach for her hand and was gratified when she took it, accepting what little he could offer her. He moved closer to her until they were sitting so close he could feel the warmth of her body. Unexpectedly, she lowered her head onto his shoulder and left it there, saying nothing.

Chakotay barely recognized this woman who so easily accepted his comfort but knew already that he wanted to see more of her.

**Coda:**

Kathryn was near death and he knew with horrible clarity that if she died, he would too. He grasped her hand, then went a step further and pulled her completely against him, transferring his own tears to her grey cheeks.

Through his commbadge, the voice muffled by Kathryn’s body, came Tuvok’s cool voice.

"Voyager to Commander Chakotay."

Lowering Kathryn to the ground, he slapped at his metal badge. "Yes, Voyager! How far are you? I have an emergency!"

"We are in orbit, Commander."

"The Captain’s dead. We have to get her to Sickbay, The Doctor may still be able to revive her."

"A shuttle is on its way to you now, Commander."

Damn his Vulcan reserve! How could he be so cool?

"Acknowledged!" he snapped, impatiently wiping away tears.

The gash on her forehead looked more and more lethal each minute she lay unmoving. Her face was going steadily more pale and grey. Choking back a sob, Chakotay traced the line of her face with trembling fingers.

"Kathryn, we’re going to get you back."

**Scorpion:**

He couldn’t see anything in her eyes but hard steel and icy grey conviction. It haunted him to see it.

"This alliance," she said firmly, "will work. It’s the only thing we can do."

Her tone clearly said, "Don’t argue with me." But he wouldn’t be doing his job if he didn’t.

"Captain, I agree the idea works in theory. But the devil needs its due. The time will come when the Borg betray us. It’s in their nature, as surely as it is in the scorpion’s to sting."

"I’m willing to risk it."

"But is it your risk to take?" he pressed. "Kathryn, you have to consider your crew."

She slammed her hand onto her desk in a rare loss of cool. "Can’t you understand that I am considering them? It’s this or settle on a remote planet, cowed into submission by the Borg. I will not do that to them! Not now, not ever! This crew deserves every chance to get back home."

When he looked at her hands, they were clenched tightly and shaking. He knew that what he was about to say would anger her even more.

"Captain, our goal right now is to stay alive. If we settle somewhere to wait this out, we can virtually guarantee our survival. An alliance with the Borg could prove fatal."

She set her jaw and stared him down. "I’ve made my decision, Commander."

His own temper flared. "I’ll obey your orders, Captain, because the last thing we need right now is a divided command team, especially in front of the crew. But if this thing starts to crumble, I will do whatever I need to protect this crew."

Her eyes flickered with emotions too myriad and quicksilver to catch. She met his eyes again and the steel was back.

"So I am alone after all. Dismissed, Commander."

He actually felt his heart throb with pain inside his chest. But he had his pride, and pulled himself straight before marching onto the Bridge.

**The Good Shepherd:**

Once Paris had tractored the Delta Flyer, Chakotay left the Bridge to Tuvok and ventured to Sickbay.

Chakotay hated seeing her hurt or ill because it reminded him that he could as easily lose her as anyone else on the crew. She succeeded in fooling almost everyone, even him on occasion, into believing that she was invincible and indestructible. In moments like these, he was jolted rudely with the realization that she was as mortal as the rest of them.

The Doctor walked up behind Chakotay. "Still unconscious, I’m afraid. The radiation surge hit her quite hard. She had some cracked ribs and a fractured vertebrae, both of which I’ve repaired. It’s just a matter of time until she wakes up."

"The others?" Chakotay scanned the other occupied biobeds.

"Radiation sickness and a few minor injuries. They’re sleeping naturally."

Chakotay nodded and the Doctor sighed. "Perhaps Captain Janeway should keep this little incident in mind the next time she has an urge to field train her junior officers."

He interpreted his commander’s silence and steady gaze. "You can stay with her if you wish. I don’t have any idea when she’ll wake up but you’re welcome to wait."

He would wait. It wouldn’t feel right to go back to the Bridge without knowing she’d be okay. If he did, he’s merely be down to Sickbay again within an hour.

"Thank you, Doctor."

The hologram dimmed the lights and disappeared into his office.

* 

Chakotay saw Janeway’s eyes flicker and he leaned in closer. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking as if she weren’t sure she wanted to be awake, then her eyes widened and he saw panic race across her face.

"My crew!" she exclaimed, sitting up quickly—too quickly, judging by the dizzy, sick look on her face as her injuries registered. He slid a hand across her back to hold her up and murmured, "Easy.”

"They’re sleeping," he said gently and saw relief shoot across her face. "Minor injuries." Only then, he noticed, did she let herself relax and sink down again. He continued to talk, giving her a chance to gather herself.

"We received your distress call. We found the Flyer drifting above a gas giant. You were all unconscious."

She opened her eyes again and Chakotay was struck anew by the dichotomy of stubborn willpower housed in a deceptively fragile body. It was taking all of her strength to remain awake and aware but somehow it didn’t surprise him that she managed to do it.

"Was there any sign of another vessel or some kind of entity?"

He shook his head and curiosity got the better of him. "What happened?"

She actually laughed softly and said, "The Good Shepherd went after some lost sheep." She smiled then. "And ran into a wolf."

That went a long way in reassuring him. He gazed fondly at her and brushed the tips of his fingers over her hand. "Did she find them?"

The sleepy look was coming over her again, but of contentment now, not of greyness and injury. She twisted her head in both directions to look at her three sleeping crewmembers, and fixed her gaze to his again. "I think she did."

 

**"End Game"  (AU)**

Chakotay and, it seemed, everyone on the Bridge held their breath until the picture on the viewer stabilized. What came into focus on-screen was the familiar site of the Kuiper Asteroid Belt and a Federation starship.

He looked at Kathryn and found her as wide-eyed as everyone else.

"Mr. Kim," she said steadily, "hail them."

The familiar visage of Captain Jean-Luc Picard appeared on-screen.

"Captain Janeway," he said gravely, voice steady and serious.

"Captain Picard," she returned and waited.

Picard’s face broke into a grin and the rest of his Bridge crew looked equally as cheerful. "Welcome home, Captain. I have someone who’d like to speak to you."

Chakotay watched Janeway’s smile burst across her face as Reg Barclay appeared on-screen.

"On behalf of—of the United Federation of Planets and the, uh, Pathfinder Project, I’d like to say it’s—it’s good to have you back, Captain Janeway and Voyager," the younger man said nervously.

"Thank you, Mr. Barclay," she said. "For everything."

Barclay brushed bright red. "Anything for Starfleet’s finest, ma’am. The –uh, the Enterprise-E will escort you to McKinley Station."

"Very good," Janeway said. Chakotay could tell she was fighting tears and laughter.

Picard appeared at Barclay’s shoulder. "Captain Janeway, is Voyager capable of flying to McKinley? I’m betting you had a bumpy ride."

"Absolutely fine, Captain."

"Excellent." Picard looked jubilant. "Match your course to ours and we’ll head for Earth. It’s good to see you, Captain."

"The feeling is mutual, Captain. Thank you." Janeway walked to Paris and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing hard. "Tom, set a course for Earth. Warp six."

"Aye, Captain," Paris replied, smile apparent in his voice. "We’re going home."

Cheers rang out across the Bridge and Paris, outrageously breaking rank in his jubilation, embraced Janeway, who laughed and hugged him back. Within moments, everyone was hugging each other, laughing, and crying. Seven and Tuvok, looking distinctly uncomfortable with the emotional display, hung back until everyone got themselves under control.

Chakotay moved up to the upper tier of the Bridge to speak to Seven, keeping an eye on Janeway the whole time. She was caught in a fierce embrace with Harry Kim. He moved toward her and she turned around once she sensed his presence. She smiled warmly at him and took both his hands in hers. There were tears swimming in her eyes, happy tears, and she blinked, sending some cascading over her cheeks. Her hands tightened around his and she opened her mouth to speak. He shook his head, not needing her to say anything. He was aware that everyone around them had fallen silent and was watching them both.

Chakotay remembered well the day eight years ago when he had first set eyes on her over the _Liberty’s_ viewscreen. Everyday since then, nothing had given him more purpose than to work beside Kathryn Janeway, through pain and pleasure. Together they had made it home.

He pulled her closer and she came willingly. Gazing directly into her eyes, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her lightly. His heart soared when she slid her arms around his neck and leaned into the embrace. He felt tears on his cheeks, couldn’t tell if they were her tears or his own, but quickly realized that none of that mattered when she kissed him back.

 END


End file.
